olfactory is a fancy word for nose-usage
since i spent the better part of the morning sitting here at my job chipping the nail polish off my fingers (time to repaint with essie’s Bordeux…i want to name nail polishes. give me that job. the world has had enough of hum-drum colours like melancholy maroon and cheap cherry cherry) i figured i might as well be “productive” and write. i am about ready for a nap however. i’ve often tried to convince my boss that below the counter in our office could be converted into a napnook (like George Costanza’s with more leg room) but i don’t think they know i’m serious, so it hasn’t panned out…
anyway, when it was no longer the better part of the morning it was time for me to go do orientation/registration which meant leaving my nice dark desk area and having to talk at people (which, if you know me, typically isn’t an issue, i love people, i love talking, i love talking to people, but i switched my coffee for tea this morning and good lord it just isn’t the same at all, i never really acclimated to consciousness). basically i wanted to mutilate a rutabaga when it was all said and done. no one listens. that’s why i said i was talking at people. they just sat there and let my words drift over their little freshmen heads and i am cute and give good directions, so that was stupid. and then they sass me when i tell them to write the password down for their account. no, okay, you’re right, you’ll TOTALLY remember two months from now what password you pulled out of your butt if you don’t write it down. HA.
meanwhile all i could really think about was getting back up to my desk where i still planned on painting my nails (i have not yet, since i’m typing this) (i knew you were wondering) and eating the bar of chocolate i was nibbling while i pondered how i want to cut my hair. and please believe me when i tell you i try not to be this girlie, i realize how absolutely froofie this whole thing sounds, but at least i don’t bedazzle myself with lisa frank. and hair cuts are über important.
so i’m in the home stretch, finishing up the last group for registration, and then i smell it. so much B.O. coming from this music major. i understand he’s “artsy” and can’t be bothered but my olfactory sense is top-of-the-line and everything about the scenario was going downhill. even artists smell better. how does someone who looks so clean smell like so much armpit? i just don’t understand. i mean yeah, we’ve all been through our own bouts of personal odor problems (just this past sunday i smelled like bengay and cilantro because my neck hurt and we made salsa at my house, and that’s weird enough for me) but then he got even closer to me and i stopped breathing.