i’m not picking my nose.
so, i got my nose pierced a couple months ago (not to be rebellious, i mean my dad’s a preacher and a couple people had scandalized conniptions, which was really fun, let me tell you, but this was a personal pursuit. i wanted that needle through my nose SO BADLY) and i’ve already told you about my olfactory sense being quite keen, so clearly i’m a bit preoccupied with my nose on a regular basis (and other people’s…). obviously i’ve never had a bit of twisty metal in my nostril until this time, it felt i stuffed a nub of play-dough up there and it took a while to get used to. and sometimes the ring would slip a little and i’d have to fix it by poking it back into position.
now when i say poke, i do not mean pick. there was never any sweeping of the fingertip in a downward motion, only upward thrusting! and yet. so many looks are sent my direction. a girl can’t even fix her nose at a red light without getting oogled, it’s ridiculous, what good are piercings if you can’t play with them a little bit? i once saw a man clipping his freaking toe nails out his car window at a red light, and my window was down, and i was staring, because it’s weird, and he laughs and says to me “sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do” and kept clipping, and then everything was all better and i didn’t think he was weird anymore.
that last part was a lie, i totally thought he was still weird and don’t ever clip your nails in the car, that’s gross. bite it off like a normal person.
seriously, my life is Seinfeld, so many things happen that seem inconsequential but actually take up so much brain power, like when Jerry is driving and the model sees him itching his nose and thinks he’s picking. horrifying. (The episode is called The Pick, i love it, Jerry’s nose is so big it totes looks like he’s digging but mine is more button-esque, so my finger wouldn’t fit as well.)
sometimes if i really want to freak people i will pull the ring out until it’s hanging down and looks like i stuffed a safety pin in there. life is fun.